The Beginning of the End

Today, I almost burst into tears watching my now two-year-old son drink from his sippy cup. I realize a part of this is from the lovely third trimester hormones (we have 3 weeks and 5 days until our newest one is due), but it honesty made me sad to see how grown up and independent my son is now.

I realized that those two pink lines on the pregnancy test were the beginning of the end. Please, before anyone thinks that I don’t want this baby, or that I think that this baby will end my social life or whatever, let me explain. This baby marks the beginning of the end of our firstborn being an only child. Once Joshua arrives, Mikey will no longer be the center of attention. He will forever have to share his time with Mommy and Daddy, his toys, his love. I feel absolutely horrible sometimes because of this. I know that eventually we will all adjust to our newest member, but it still makes me sad.

We will forever mark this time waiting on Josh by the “lasts.” The last time we go out to eat as a family of three. The last time we go shopping without two kids. The last time we kiss our son goodnight and tuck him in without his brother. Up until now, we’ve measured the “firsts” in Mikey’s life. His first night at home. His first smile. His first holiday. The first time he ate solid foods. The first steps, the first time he slept away from us. The list goes on and on.

From now on, we get to start a new list of “firsts.” The first time Mikey kissed my belly and said “Hi, brother.” The first time Mikey felt the baby kick. The first time that Mikey sees his baby brother. The first time I try to go to Wal-Mart with both boys (what a scary thought!) by myself.

As sad as I am to see the end of Mikey-only firsts, I am just as excited to see all of our Josh-and-Mikey firsts!

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