First Day Back

Hello again, friends! I know it’s been a while since I have updated last, but I have been dealing with some personal issues and haven’t had a chance to.

Joshua will be four months old on Saturday! I can’t believe he’s already that old.  We have been so blessed that he is such a good baby! He has been sleeping through the night since he was just a few weeks old, and even though he’s had it rough with his health, he is quick to smile and laugh (just like his big brother!)! Josh weighed 11lbs, 1oz at his last appointment on Thursday.  He is still in the 1st percentiles for height and weight for his age.  We have been going every week for weight checks and will continue that until further notice.  We still have no idea what is making him spit up and stuff so much.  All of the tests that we have done have come back negative.  No pyloric stenosis.  No B12 deficiencies or anemia.  No food allergies or intolerances.  No genetic markers.  His reflux scan showed a minimal amount of reflux.  The doctors here decided that they can’t do anything further, except keeping a check on Josh’s weight and keeping him on his medicines, so they have set up an appointment with the GI specialist in Little Rock at Children’s.  The bad news is that the first available appointment isn’t until October 19.  Until then, we will be keeping him on the Zantac twice a day, Reglan three times a day, and thickening his formula with the thick-IT.  Josh is a little behind on his milestones, as well, and I will be talking to the doctor about that at his appointment on Friday.

Mikey is doing fantastic! He is up to 27lbs and 34.5″ tall! It absolutely amazes me how well he talks for only being 2.5! He can hold entire conversations with us now, and he speaks so clearly! We have really started pushing the potty training the last few weeks.  He is doing so well with it.  Yesterday, he only had two wet accidents all day.  Mikey is getting to where he will tell us that he needs to go pee-pee in the potty.  He knows all of his colors, can count to 10 in order, and we are working on learning shapes and the alphabet.  Mikey also has a handful of books that he knows really well, and can tell you exactly what is going on on each page!

After Josh was born, I struggled a lot with severe postpartum depression.  I did not feel that instant warm and fuzzy, overwhelming love for him like I did with Mikey.  For a long time, I wasn’t sure if I loved Josh or not.  I felt absolutely no bond with him whatsoever.  I tried breastfeeding, and had more success with it this time than I did with Mikey, but even then, I didn’t bond with him.  I felt absolutely terrible.  What kind of mom doesn’t feel that love for her child? I knew that I loved Josh, but I just didn’t FEEL it.  After weeks of extremely negative thoughts and hating myself for everything, I finally reached out and sought professional help.  My doctor put me on Paxil, an antidepressant and anti-anxiety medicine.  I saw a therapist and she gave me some things to try at home whenever I started to have anxiety or any negative thoughts.  It’s been about 6 weeks since I started my medicine and I am doing much better.  I’m still not at 100%, but I’m definitely feeling better.  The PPD threw me for a loop, because I never had even a slight bout of baby blues with Mikey.  I have started to really bond with Josh and I am FEELING that love that I knew was there all along.

Today is my first day back at work since I was 30 weeks pregnant.  I was put on bedrest then, due to Josh trying to come early.  After Josh was born, he had all these medical issues, so I couldn’t work until they started getting a little better.  Now, he is not spitting up nearly as much, and I feel comfortable leaving him for a while.  It is odd being here at the office.  It’s very quiet.  I am actually able to sit down and relax a little bit.  At home, even when both kids are taking a nap (at the same time), I am busy.  I have laundry to do, dishes to clean, counters to clear off, floors to sweep and mop, beds to be made, toys to be picked up, kids to feed and play with.  It’s never-ending.  It’s nice to be able to sit and have some time for myself for once.  I miss my babies horribly, though.  I will be glad for Friday, when I can stay home with them again!


A Long, Hard Road

Hello, friends! I hope all of you are well. Joshua is now 9 weeks old! I can’t believe how fast time is flying by. It doesn’t seem like it went this fast when Mikey was a newborn.

Josh has been having some issues with his health. He had started spitting up excessively and not gaining enough weight around 2 weeks old. After a couple of weeks, his doctor said we needed to repeat his newborn screening because one of the tests came back abnormal. It took a well four the results to come back. Before they got the results, they told us that the test was for an organic acid disorder, which basically meant that the body lacked the enzymes needed to break down proteins. Since his spitting up was getting worse and he wasn’t gaining weight, they sent us to Arkansas Children’s Hospital. We went up on St. Patrick’s Day and they did a battery of tests on him. Everything came back normal, but they suspected acid reflux so they started him on Zantac twice a day. We got released from Children’s on March 19th. Josh had a follow up appointment with Dr. Zabakolas 10 days later. He had not gained any weight since getting released, and so we decided to have me stop giving Josh breast milk and switch to formula only for the next week to make sure he was getting enough calories. One week later, Josh had only gained a couple of ounces. He should be gaining about an ounce a day, so Dr. Aclin, Dr. King, and Dr. Zabakolas wanted to admit us to Sparks for a couple of days for testing and observation. They drew lots of blood for labs, as well as an abdominal ultrasound to rule out pyloric stenosis. The ultrasound came back that the pyloric muscle was elongated slightly and thickened, which is how PS presents. To rule it out completely, we did a barium swallow study. Again, all the labs and tests came back normal. The doctors decided to change his formula and that seemed to help. We stayed in the hospital from Tuesday until Thursday.

Now that we are home, have to feed Josh 2oz of formula every 2 hours, stopping after an ounce to burp him, keep him upright after his feedings for at least 45 minutes, have him sleep on an incline, preferably on his tummy (as long as are monitoring him), and continue the Zantac twice a day. We go back on Wednesday to make sure that he hasn’t lost any of the weight that he gained in the hospital.

Ok, so now that you’re all caught up on Josh, lets talk about Mikey! My beautiful firstborn son is two years and three months old. He talks all the time now. He recently started talking about rabbit trees. I have no idea where he came up with them, but every tree he sees is a rabbit tree. A couple off days ago, he climbed into our top loader washing machine and informed me that he was a monkey. 🙂 Dr. Zabakolas told me at Mikey’s 2 year check up that he was very advanced for his age. He knows all his animals, including ones like elephants, koalas, kangaroos, penguins, etc., all of his colors, speaking in complete sentences and carrying on conversations, and can count to four in order. He helps pick up his toys, books, etc., and gets diapers, pacis, burp rags, and blankets for Josh.

My friend Jaqi got married Saturday. I was her maid of honor. Mikey got to be the “petal boy” since Jaqi didn’t have a flower girl. He loved it, but refused to dump the flowers out! Jaqi made a beautiful bride! I am so glad that everything went smoothly after months of planning!

It’s very late, I’m tired, and its time for Josh to eat again, so it’s time for this Momma to get off of here!










A New Life

Hello, again, friends! It has been a while since the last time that I updated, and I apologize. It had been pretty crazy adjusting to our new life with two kids.

Yes, friends, Baby Josh was born (finally!)!! He turned 1 month old yesterday. I was surprised at how quickly my labor went this time. We started the Pitocin at 6a.m., broke my water at 8a.m., got the epidural at 10a.m., and Joshua was born at 10:43a.m. after only 2 pushes! He weighed 7lbs, 2.5oz and was 19.5″ long! We had a perfect labor and delivery, and so far a very quick and easy recovery! In fact, we went to evening services at church the day we got released from the hospital!

Mikey absolutely loves his little brother and is always living in him and helping to get diapers our a paci for him! He told me that’s his baby Josh. 🙂 Audio far, we have been able to breastfeed exclusively, with no problems. I am confident that we will be able to continue for longer than I was able to nurse Mikey (5.5 weeks before my supply dried up). Josh had been such a laid back, easy baby so far, with the only problem being done mild reflux.

Well, friends, it had been a very busy day for this Mommy and as much as I would love to go on and on about Josh, I can barely keep my eyes open! Until next time, take care and may God bless you!





Just A Couple More Days

Hello, again, friends! Today is my last OB appointment before Joshua gets here. Dr. King is going to do a membrane sweep this afternoon, and if that doesn’t get things going, then I will be checking into the hospital tomorrow night around midnight to start my antibiotics and then they will break my water. Regardless, Josh will be here Friday! I can’t believe we are at this point already. It seems like just yesterday that we found out we were expecting again. Now here we are, a mere two days before holding our newest son.

Last Saturday, I woke up with what I thought was sinus pressure from allergies. Mark and I went to test drive cars after he got off work, and by that time, I had developed a cough. By 5pm, I was feeling awful. I just assumed it was from the changing weather. Mark and Mikey went to bed and I stayed up because I couldn’t get comfortable and I was coughing so hard, I couldn’t catch my breath. Finally, I knew I had to do something, so I woke Mark up and we went to the ER, where I was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection. They put me on a steroid medicine and a pregnancy-safe cough medicine. I am pleased to say that I am feeling much better now, though I am still coughing junk up and I sound like an 80-year-old chain smoker. Hopefully, this won’t affect my labor and delivery!

On Saturday, January 24, our best friends Chris and Alicia found out that they are having their first boy!! Madisyn is super excited to be getting a little brother and I am completely thrilled that we are both having boys! Look out world! Joshua Isaiah and Zachary David are going to be the next dynamic duo!!!




The Beginning of the End

Today, I almost burst into tears watching my now two-year-old son drink from his sippy cup. I realize a part of this is from the lovely third trimester hormones (we have 3 weeks and 5 days until our newest one is due), but it honesty made me sad to see how grown up and independent my son is now.

I realized that those two pink lines on the pregnancy test were the beginning of the end. Please, before anyone thinks that I don’t want this baby, or that I think that this baby will end my social life or whatever, let me explain. This baby marks the beginning of the end of our firstborn being an only child. Once Joshua arrives, Mikey will no longer be the center of attention. He will forever have to share his time with Mommy and Daddy, his toys, his love. I feel absolutely horrible sometimes because of this. I know that eventually we will all adjust to our newest member, but it still makes me sad.

We will forever mark this time waiting on Josh by the “lasts.” The last time we go out to eat as a family of three. The last time we go shopping without two kids. The last time we kiss our son goodnight and tuck him in without his brother. Up until now, we’ve measured the “firsts” in Mikey’s life. His first night at home. His first smile. His first holiday. The first time he ate solid foods. The first steps, the first time he slept away from us. The list goes on and on.

From now on, we get to start a new list of “firsts.” The first time Mikey kissed my belly and said “Hi, brother.” The first time Mikey felt the baby kick. The first time that Mikey sees his baby brother. The first time I try to go to Wal-Mart with both boys (what a scary thought!) by myself.

As sad as I am to see the end of Mikey-only firsts, I am just as excited to see all of our Josh-and-Mikey firsts!

The Final Countdown

Hello again! I (again) apologize for not updating sooner. It has been a crazy ride the last few weeks.

I am now 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant. When I was 29 weeks, I started having contractions and went to labor and delivery to have them stopped. A week later (exactly), I had contractions again, this time starting out at 5-7 minutes apart and by the time I got to the hospital, they were 2-3 minutes apart. They kept me for 26 hours, gave me 4 doses of Picardia to try to stop contractions, IV fluids, and 2 steroid shots to help Josh’s lungs develop. Thankfully, they did get my contractions to finally stop and they put me on modified bedrest until I saw my OB two weeks later. Dr. King took me off restrictions, and I did fine until New Year’s Eve. Mark and I were planning to help chaperone the youth lock in at our church, but around 10pm, I started noticing that I was having some frequent contractions. I decided to time them to see if they were just Braxton-Hicks or actual contractions. They started out around 10-15 minutes apart and slowly got closer together and stronger. Finally, around midnight, I told Mark that they were about 3-5 minutes apart and getting painful, so we needed to go to the hospital. Upon arriving and getting settled into a room, they checked me and told me I had dilated to 2cm and was 50% thinned out. The nurses and doctor said that they could feel the baby’s head “very low” as well. After getting more IV fluids and another dose of Picardia, my contractions finally started to slow down. After several hours, I was released to go home, with instructions to see my doctor again within a week. The next day, I saw the doctor, who put me back on modified bedrest and pelvic rest until I deliver. The doctors want me to make it to at least 36 weeks, and anything after that will be a bonus. Only a week and 2 days until we hit our goal!

Now, my crazy almost-having-the-baby-early thing isn’t all that’s happened. On December 28, Nanny, Mark’s grandma, had a heart attack. She was in the ICU and the cardiologist said that due to extreme blockage in her arteries, they couldn’t do stents and had to have an open heart double bypass surgery. She was in ICU for a day or two following the surgery, then got moved to a regular room. Her heart rate was erratic, so they put in a temporary pacemaker, then a couple days later they put in a permanent one. She was doing well with her recovery until this morning, when she had trouble breathing on her own and had to be sedated and have a breathing tube put in. Nanny is resting in the ICU for at least 24 hours, then they will try weaning her off the breathing tube. It’s going to be a long, slow recovery.

Next Wednesday, Mikey will be turning two. I can’t believe that my little baby is getting so big. He knows most of his colors, all of his animals and what sounds they make, and is doing well with potty training. Where have the last two years gone? What happened to my baby? When did he get so big on me? I wish I could make time stop for a while, so I could hold on to his sweet hugs, kisses, and cuddles while I can. I know all too soon, he won’t want to cuddle with his mommy or get kisses when he has a boo boo.

Until next time, I must say good-bye. It is late, and I am exhausted. Take care, friends.








Weekend Revelations

This weekend, I got something that I normally do not ever get. I got the entire weekend (Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon) to myself. I went with a group of ladies from my church to the Ladies’ retreat. We went up to Burnt Cabins at Lake Tenkiller and had a very fun, uplifting weekend.

I went last year, too, and left Mikey for pretty much the first time ever overnight. My husband was nervous last year at being at home with the baby by himself for the weekend, but he did fine. I had a hard time leaving my son last year, but it all turned out okay. Mark did call me several times asking for help, but he soon figured it out. This year, however, I left Mikey with Nanny at around 11:00AM so that I could go finish getting the things I needed for the trip before we left at noon. I had a harder time leaving him this year, I suppose because I am 26 weeks pregnant and hormonal. My mother-in-law, Judy, picked up Mikey Friday afternoon after she got off work and kept him that night because Mark had to work Saturday until noon. I never heard anything from anyone after I dropped him off, so I assumed that everything was okay. Saturday morning, I woke up and started my day. We had breakfast, had Bible lessons and devotionals, and finally around 3:00pm, I called my husband to check on him and my son, because I still had not had any text messages or phone calls. Everything was fine and I got to talk to Mikey on the phone briefly. He was telling me about horses and cars (my in-laws took him to the Veteran’s Day parade earlier that day) and then I asked him how he was and if he missed Mommy, and he told me to “hush.” Mark got back on the phone and said that they were watching the NASCAR race, and he hadn’t cried or whined for me at all, all weekend.

As happy as this makes me (my son is very clingy with me usually), it also makes me incredibly sad. My little baby is growing up and is getting so much more independent and doesn’t need his Mommy around all the time. I must say, I was not prepared for this. I am very glad that he is gaining his independence and is happy without me around 24/7, but I’m just not used to not being his primary caretaker and getting all of his attention. Again, I know this is probably just me being hormonal and pregnant.

Speaking of being pregnant, my best friend finally announced it at church, so I can officially say something now! Our friends, Chris and Alicia, are expecting their second baby!! They had a miscarriage several weeks ago, and conceived again right away. They were waiting to say anything until they saw the doctor and had an ultrasound. Now, she is 9 weeks and 3 days, and she is due June 12, 2015! This puts her EXACTLY 17 weeks behind me!!! I am so thankful that they were able to get pregnant again so quickly and that the pregnancy is healthy and going well so far!